REINCARNATION

The truth is that there seems to be no definitive proof of what happens to us after we die. There is some evidence based on near-death experiences and children knowing things that they should not be aware of at their stage of development that points to the possibility of reincarnation. However, I propose that we have all been reincarnated many times, even within this one lifetime.

I am not the same person I was when I was five years old. I don’t have the same body, nor do I have the same worldview that I had then. It was a different lifetime. I am not the same person I was as a teenager. I don’t have the same attitudes, the same anger and resentment that I possessed then. I am not the same person I was when I was in college learning about things I had never encountered before, interacting with people from completely different cultures, and first challenging the indoctrination of my upbringing. I am not the same person I was as a young adult struggling with my sexuality, socially imposed self-loathing, and trying to come to grips with, but not yet obtaining acceptance that I am gay. I am not the same person I was in my 30s when I first realized that I had to give up my childlike ways and grow up. I’m not the same person who moved to Nashville hoping to break into the music industry based on some “signs” in the universe, only to discover I didn’t have all it takes and that some in the music industry can be quite cruel.  I’m not the same person I was in my 40s, when I teetered on bankruptcy, had to give up the life I had built in Nashville, and move back home to the Ozarks, where I discovered that my grandmother (who raised me) was at the early stages of dementia, and on a downward spiral toward the end of her life.  I’m not the same person I was when I tried to make relationships work in the past, only to discover that my man-picker was broken and needed to be fixed. I am not the same person I was before I discovered my current spirituality and a path to greater understanding that led me away from so much anger and resentment of the past and led me to full acceptance of who I am.

You see, we all go through multiple reincarnations in this lifetime. Some of us choose to grow and evolve past previous incarnations, while others get stuck in childhood indoctrination and never consider a better way. Some of us cling to beliefs that ultimately harm our happiness and well-being and prevent us from moving forward in our emotional and spiritual development.  Studies indicate that older adults tend to report higher levels of happiness, even as they face declining health and the end of their lives. That’s because many, though not all, reincarnate into a state of acceptance where they cherish some things that they once took for granted, and accept the things they can’t change. Our bodies will reincarnate from one manifestation to another, whether we reincarnate spiritually and emotionally or not. The path of physical life is inevitable regardless of youth worship or thousands upon thousands of dollars for plastic surgery that is meant to keep us looking young. Still, no matter how young we look, physical age marches on. Some people look much younger than their chronological age, while others look much older. Some are physically younger than their chronological age, while others are older.  We have no choice over most of the things that happen to us, but we always have a choice over what choices we make about those things and what we do or do not do about them.

Then, there is the issue of genetics. Could we say that, genetically, we are reincarnations of our ancestors? When a parent has hypothyroidism, and their child inherits hypothyroidism, could it be said that their child is at least partially a reincarnation of their parent? The same is true for blue eyes, brown eyes, racial features, etc. How often in a family does someone tell a child that they look just like their great-grandfather or grandmother, or that they behave similarly, even though they may never have been around that person? My sister tells me, for instance, that she sees my father in me, even though I didn’t grow up knowing him, not just in my looks but in my behaviors and temperament. Could I therefore, at least partially, be a reincarnation of my father?

I don’t know if soul reincarnation is true or not, but I also don’t know if heaven or hell exists in the afterlife. What I do know is that humanity needs a moral compass. We need guidance that helps us maintain civility with one another because, Lord knows, we are often very uncivil to one another on both a micro and macro scale. The ideas of reincarnation and karma help us maintain that moral compass if we pay attention and use the tools available to us. The concept of reward in an afterlife also helps to maintain that moral compass. Some religions wholeheartedly believe in reincarnation while others reject it outright. Yet, even though Christianity rejects soul reincarnation, there are still passages that some argue are indications of the concept of reincarnation. Karma, a key element of reincarnation, also appears in many religions. The Bible, for instance, says, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Galatians 6:7). I had grown up thinking, and having been taught, that only one side of that admonishment worked. You better be good, or bad things will happen to you. The belief I grew up with didn’t account for the fact that bad things happen to good people, which is one of the arguments of reincarnation. However, I was about to enter another one of my mental incarnations.

When I went to graduate school, I had a friend who was a successful real-estate agent. He had a ranch outside of town and a big house, a condo in town, two new luxury cars, and it was not unusual for him to spend a few thousand dollars on a piece of art. I, on the other hand, was living on a small graduate school stipend. One day, he called me and asked if I wanted to see the professional theater production of Best Little Whore House in Texas. I asked him how much the tickets were, and he said $80.00. That was almost a quarter of my monthly income then. I told him I couldn’t afford that, and he said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s on me.” Because I was also raised to believe that you must give back what you're given, I kept arguing, but he talked me into it. On the evening of the production, he took me to one of the nicest and most expensive restaurants in town, took me out for drinks after the show, and ended up spending almost $200 on me in one night, which, even with 55% inflation since those days, still makes me cringe. I felt incredibly beholden.

At the time, I was in counseling with my church's minister. I told him about that evening and my guilt. I told my minister that the only thing I could do for my friend was take him out for a Happy Meal. My minister referred to the Bible passage about reaping what we sow and asked me what I thought it meant. I told him that it means you better not do bad things, or bad things will happen to you. He said, “Don’t you think it works both ways and that if good things are happening to you it’s because you have done good things, too, and that if a blessing comes to you instead of questioning it or thinking that you owe something for it, all you need to do is gratefully and graciously accept it. That marked a new awareness for me and the beginnings of a new mental incarnation. A true gift comes with no expectations. If expectations are attached, it’s an unspoken contract, not a gift. We owe nothing for love.

Now, at 71, I look back on my life and realize that whether I was reincarnated in other lives before this one, I have had many reincarnations in this one. I likely won't be the same person in 10 years as I am now, and who knows how much longer I will live? I could have several more mental incarnations before that time comes. I have a friend who has told me that she could see that I was a Japanese soldier who was killed during WWII. Maybe that could explain my fascination with Japan, but the fact that my father was a Japanese P.O.W. during WWII might also explain that.  Yet, I’ve also had hypnotic regressions indicating that I was a female in my last life. Regardless, generational memories and stories about even great-great-grandparents are stored in my mind. I'm confident that mental and emotional reincarnation occurs in this lifetime. The jury is still out on whether we live several different lifetimes as different entities. However, I love the film Cloud Atlas, which some of my friends also love, and others said that they don’t get it. It stars Tom Hanks, among others, and follows a group of people through several lifetimes of reincarnation. I didn’t even know some of the characters Tom Hanks had played until the end of the film because his acting was that good. It’s on the list of my all-time favorite movies.

Whether soul reincarnation is true or not, what is true is that every human being is complex and made up of many different elements that family, culture, education, nationality, genetics, etc influence. There is, of course, an additional debate about whether a person has a choice to reincarnate. There is also debate about splitting souls or reincarnation from other planets, which might explain why more people are alive today than at any time in known history. Belief is belief, and I love what A Course in Miracles says about that: It doesn’t matter whether the belief is true. It only matters if it is helpful. Far too many beliefs aren't helpful, and unfortunately, it is human nature to defend our beliefs whether they are helpful or not. Those willing to question their beliefs, seek a better understanding, and open their minds are most likely to reincarnate in this lifetime toward their true spiritual development.